Insanely enough I have begun playing the lotto as if one out of many millions could actually be me. The reality of it is that no happiness or joy actually would come from success. How is it that we seek so much and in the end nothing remains. We cling to these delusions we deem to hold value of wealth and success. Our castles built on poor foundations sinking into the Moore's and yet we are always hopeful.
I look into the eyes of a man that has abused narcotics to such an extremity that his genetic make up has been altered. His ability to be calm and rational as outdated milk has curdled. He speaks loudly and laughs randomly offering me chocolate candy or a can of cat food. He is amazed by my ability to separate perforated paper and I jest that its not his fault he previously ripped the page into 3 separate pieces, it happens to all of us.
For a moment I ask myself what makes us different besides the counter that separate us. I read an article this morning about these archaeologist that seek to understand why the neanderthal become extinct. They hypothesis that perhaps the new species of man came into contact with the neanderthal wiping them out. Would I destroy this man if I had the power? Does his life have meaning? What purpose did his existent have and thus if he never came to be would others truly be affected.
I am drowning in work and this seems as if its my own personal ballad or daily war cry. Nothing makes sense accept the fact that tomorrow this will be here and more paperwork will rise up demanding conquest of my desk as if it was a castle so ancient Templar secrets are borne within.
Do I find humor in all of this because I am weak or do I laugh merely to keep from weeping?
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